After calling a few places, I selected a rehab facility that would allow me to pay on a sliding scale and a monthly payment plan. It was the only way I could afford to go to rehab since I had hardly any money and no health insurance. I remember now how desperate I felt at that moment, but I wasn’t going to become one of these homeless migrants. I don’t know what exactly led me – the belief in a miracle or my University degree, but I knew that life wasn’t finished for me yet.
I put the first payment on my credit card, knowing I was making the right decision and that it would be worth it when I was able to work again later and could make the future payments.
Although I chose to go to rehab out of dire necessity, it was the best thing for me. I had a place to stay for 30 days while I detoxed from heroin and worked through my addiction issues in therapy and group sessions.
The first few days were pure hell. Detoxing from heroin is no joke, and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. I was in the worst emotional and physical pain of my life. There was no way I could have survived detoxing on my own, and I was so thankful the facility gave me medicine (Suboxone) to help the cravings, kept me fed and did whatever they could to ease the pain.
In therapy, I started to figure out why I had used heroin in the first place, and what had kept me using. I talked about Katie and my guilt over how I had treated Suzette. I talked about my low self-esteem since coming to America and not being able to find a job. I described my loneliness, and how much I missed home. In the group sessions, I connected with people who had struggles similar to mine. I was able to open up about my insecurities, my fears, and my mistakes. I made friends that I am still in contact with to this day.
By the end of my 30 days in rehab, I had wholly detoxed from heroin and felt like I had a fresh start. I was overwhelmed by what was to come next, but I had worked with the staff at the rehab facility to come up with a plan for what I would do when I left.
Right away, I phoned my family and let them know I was coming home. I put the plane ticket on my credit card and went straight from the rehab to the airport. I knew I had a better chance of staying sober in Poland, where I had family and friends to support me and knew I could get a good job again.
Now I am back in Poland, working in my field and living in my own place. I have a new girlfriend, who knows all about my past, including what happened in America. I have spoken to Suzette and apologized for how I treated her and confessed to the heroin use while we were living together. She had moved on, but it was the right thing to do, and part of my twelve steps of recovery, to apologize.
If you are suffering from any addiction, get help right away. Even if you have no money or support, it is still possible. You can completely turn your life around. I have, and I never looked back.